Southern Traditions: Crazy Names
97Living in the South
Living in the South for more than fifty years, I've heard some crazy names. I’ve always wondered how parents chose some of the crazy names they’ve given their offspring. Did they think for a minute about the poor kids being saddled with those monikers for life? I’m thinking not. Of course, when the kids got old enough, they could always go to court and have it changed, by but that time, what’s the point. They would have already endured years of ribbing from childhood friends and classmates, right?
Student names
At the beginning of every school year, we teachers would receive our class rosters a day or two before the students arrived. It was always a real eye-opener to peruse these. Sometimes when we came upon a really strange name, we’d share it with our fellow teachers. Some of the following are names of students I taught, and some of these kids were taught by my friends. The most memorable of all have to be the twins Orangejello and Lemonjello, pronounced or-AHN-jahlo and la-MON-jahlo, respectively. Here are some more:
Colorado Utah Hill
Rusty Fender
Tequila Tuesday (I thought those were best enjoyed on the weekends?)
Queen Esther Washington
Lil’ Chara Jones
Anita Gunn (who ya gonna shoot?)
Skye Green (must be a storm coming)
Stormy Waters
Bob Cox (sounds painful!)
Mae Flowers
April Rainwater
Browne Barry
Fonda Peters (I’m fond of other body parts, too)
Sandi Rhodes
Standard Ford (this is an actual name!)
Iva Pinkney (why is it pink?)
Sonny Ray
Crystal Light
Liki House (fix the roof!)
Jacob Doug Wells
Lisa Carr (I think I’d rather buy one)
C. Shell (Charlie)
Red Barnhill (His real name was Greg, but since he had red hair, the nickname was inevitable.)
Alphabetical order
Sometimes the names on my roster were funny only when read as they were listed – in alphabetical order, with last name first:
Gay, Peters
Rivers, Flo
Johns, Dick
Popp, Cornie
Sweete, Candy
Beanblossom, Brandi (I guess you can make alcohol out of anything!)
Greene, Ivey
Sometimes just the first name alone was enough to raise eyebrows:
Octaboona
Mundrickus
Flindivia
Patrocious
Karindashaka
Mascara
Felonious
Fabrica
Lexapro
The Southern tradition that’s not always charming
And then we have an old Southern tradition that enters into the picture. Many Southern families use a family surname as a middle name. For example, my youngest daughter, whose maiden name was Harris, named her son Tristan Harris Crow. That name is fine, but some others I’ve known are truly strange:
Sarah Eates Dix
Ima Little Green (with envy?)
John Fuller Schitt (better call a plumber)
Jeremy White Byrd
Hope Raines Downs (sounds like a subject-verb agreement error)
Patrick Black Tyre
Stanley Glass Payne
Married names
Sometimes women can have perfectly normal names until they get married and aquire their husband’s last name. This almost happened to me. My maiden name was Holle Cook. When I first started college, I dated a guy from Florida for a while. His name was Christopher Potts. After a few months, my mom informed me that there was no way I could marry this guy. When I asked why not, she replied, “Just think about how the wedding announcement would look in the paper – Cook-Potts wedding announced!”
I hadn’t thought of that. We broke up anyway because he transferred to a college in South Florida. I was spared from becoming Holle Cook Potts.
I had a casual friend once named Pam Reddish. She married Jim Valentine, so she became a Reddish Valentine. A friend of a friend was named Kelli White. When she married Jason Lamb, she became a White Lamb.
One of the funniest is when Sherri Lima married Richard Beane. Although Sherri’s last name was pronounced “lee-ma,” it sure looked funny in print: Sherri Lima Beane!
One of my friends
I have a friend with the unusual name of Mary Christmas. When I see her in a store, I love to shout out, “Mary Christmas!” to get her attention. Of course, people always give me weird looks, especially when I happen upon her in July.
Terrible teacher name
When my husband was in the seventh grade, his science teacher was Mrs. Tiddy. To make matters worse, she was extremely well endowed – if you know what I mean. Can you imagine a seventh-grade boy having to address her? Johnny said he didn’t ask any questions all year. By the way, her husband was Coach Tiddy.
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LOL I name pets crazy names.. I had a boxer named Montana, a rottweiler named Cheyenne ( as in Wyoming) and another Rottweiler named Dakota ( I also dated a stripper with the stage name Dakota) LMFAO so anyhooooo I get the crazy names I have had some others too, a Boxer named Misha which I think of every time I see him post here
My personal favorite is Fa-mah-lee! Spelled female. And another goody was Ven-er-ia. Wouldn't you know her last name began with a D.
you forgot one that I have come across twice in my life as well... Candice Bahr and Candice Barr lmfao who doesn't know that every girl named candace gets it shortened to Candy and then she becomes candi bar lmfao
Bring some more like this. I have tears rolling from laughing. Got a friend that told me about a little girls name was Shathead. It wasn't spelled like this. I'm being nice
Very good stuff. Brings me back to high school—and I don't mean that in a derogatory way toward your hub—when names provided much fodder for breaking through the boring school day doldrums.
Keep hubbing.
The world gone crazy. Over here you get Princess whatever or talula, willow, apple, etc Poor kids.
When my daughter Candace married, she became Candy Joy. "It sounds like a stripper's name" she lamented. I also knew a girl named Stacy who married a guy with the last name Stacy. Yep, she was known as Stacy Stacy.
Habee:---At least Johnny may have spared the embarrassment of drooling in front of Mrs. Tiddy as a schoolboy! By the way, for many years there was a man listed in the Atlanta telephone book named Early Boozer. I think that he lived near Confederate Avenue. Some of the nicknames in our corner of the planet are jewels, too!
Very funny Habee! I just can't believe that some of these are REAL! And I thought it was bad enough in Hollywood! ha Really enjoyed this.....I have never had anything close to these in a classroom! ha I have known some people with strange first names though. Best, G
Way too funny. And it used to be considered eccentric/bad if you named your daughter Rainbow. Look who's talking! Thanks for making me laugh; I really needed this, habee!
LOLOLOL!!!!Haven't seen so many funny names together ! :)
I went to school with a Crystal Ball and a Candy Hart. And I met a Candy Rain years later. I too have met a Lemonjello and also a Pajama Lingerie (pronounced Pag-a-ma Lin-ga-ree). Also an Aqua Netta (I kid you not)
Yes I am in the South...LOL
Great stuff as always Habee! It's not just the South though... Here in CA a few years back, some woman tried (unsuccessfully) to sue the school system for discrimination because her daughter's teacher couldn't figure out her name. The Mom had named her kid "La-a." Now, looking at that name, how would YOU pronounce it? Kind of like "Lah ah?" Nope. It's actually "LaDASHa..." I can't make this up. Damned you Ebonics! LOL!
I used to have a friend that worked at an office where a lot of names came across her desk. She always kept lists of names and would come home from work and read them to me. Otherwise, I would not believe half of those ridiculous names. Except for the ones that I kinda like. If it's okay, I'm going to link this hub to my hub about what not to name the baby, okay?
Hope it didn't disappoint, Rope!
Waywithwords, my friend had a dog named Farbarker! Thanks for reading!
Goodness, this was a delightful treat! Thanks for your putting it all together for us. Just unbelievably great!
Habee - Great Hub! Of course my encounters with 'special names' was in the military, with guys who had the last names of Sergeant, or Major, I've seen a Sergeant Major ( he actually became a Sergeant Major Major) and a Major Sergeant. But never met a Sergeant Major Sergeant or a General Sergeant...Though Major General is a whole 'nother story!LOL
Vanne, don't forget Gonorrhea, pronounced gah-NOR-ee-ah!
Woody, I know who you're talking about. Glad you stopped by for a read.
I know what you mean, Spring! Thanks for reading!
HH, we have those, too - we call them "hippie names." lol
Randy, I still wish thry had named your granddaughter Laurel Ann HArdy!
That would have been a memorable name, for sure. Hey, I finally got a 100 hub score. Where's my gold watch?
PD, Mrs. Tiddy was in N. Carolina! Johnny might have drooled...he didn't say. lol
G, honest-to-goodness real names!
Ann, I've never known a Rainbow! Too funny!
Thanks, Tantrum! glad you got a chuck from it.
Wow, Sabre, those are some FUNNY names!
Delaney, that is too freakin' funny! La-a. Love it!!
Habee, I posted a response to your request on my hub that you wanted an example. I am still Laughing at this list on here.. LOL I may have to come back here every day just for a chuckle
Link away, Dolores!
Thanks for the wonderful comment, Frogyfish!
John, you are a NUT!! you should write a hub about the military names!
Randy, I forgot to tell you - they sent yours with mine when I hit the century mark. I was supposed to give it to you when you hit 100, but I pawned it with Don. Sorry, I needed some ice cream!
Waywithwords - got it! Thanks!
Thanks for the great hub. I couldn't quit laughing. I can't wait to show it to my friends.
So glad you enjoyed it, NAncy!
Besides your creative writing style, I love that you reply to everyone who comments on your writings. Truly a class act. I'm a huge fan of your unique style Habee. Keep it up!
habee - These are great names...I like the nearby Rome and Athens GA - I did not know there could be so much travel in such a nearby area...I cannot imagine a better name for a school teacher :)
I worked with a girl named Krishna but everybody called her Kris. Her surname ...... Mistry. I still giggle ater almost ten years!
I think some parents just have way too much of a sense of humor! Cute stuff and good laughs! Too bad I am past my child bearing years or might be tempted....I could always pass on for grandchildren's names but somehow I don't think those are gonna fly! Love Mary Christmas!
Funny stuff. Truth stranger than fiction. Thanks for some laughs.
This is hilarious!! The parents involved with all these names...they have issues...
Funny funny...I was laughing out loud. I needed it.
Fabulously funny, girl! Sherri Lima Beane? Peters Gay? Sarah Eates Dix? ARGHH!
Seriously, though, as you pointed out, the torture these poor kids must have gone through growing up makes me cringe.
There's some great names there habee. Are they all for real?
habee when I worked second shift and call in small hospitals, I sometimes looked through the files when I got bored, or more likely when ER said “don’t leave, we got something…” I think the prize went to “Earth Trone Jeter”. One of the residents said when his team was delivering a baby, they were talking about delivering the placenta, and the mother thought it was the most beautiful “name” she had ever heard.
I worked in a doctor’s office and knew a family of 10 brothers and sisters, with names like GW, RG, etc. They weren’t initials, didn’t stand for anything! There was also a sweet old lady named Survanner.
If you decide to do a hub on traditional Southern names, let me know. My family has some doozies I can send you!
LOL!!! Some of these names are crimes against childhood. Who wants a name like Octaboona?? Can you imagine the kind of aggro you'd get with a name like that? Great post, Habee...
PS.. saw your interview- congrats!!!
Delaney, thanks so much for the warm words!
Thanks for stopping by, Mtsi!
Too funny, Helen! Thanks for reading!
Aufrey, my kids wouldn't let me name the grands. wonder why???
Hi, KEn! Good to see you!
Susan, I agree - they have some BIG issues, or either very warped senses of humor!
Glad you enjoyed it, Tammy!
Hi, Laurel! Sad, isn't it?
Ethel, all the names are real! Crazy, huh?
Rose Mary, love "Survanner"! Bet you ran across LOTS of crazy names with your job!
Thanks, Chris, for reading this hub and the interview!
There are definitely some hilarious ones in there. :)
Hi, Fester! Ya gotta wonder what these parents were thinking...
My Grandmas names were Clessie Faye and Alta Marie. My mom named me for both of them... Faye Marie, Thanks Mom! Clessie Alta would have been tough.
When doing some research into our family history, I discovered an ancestor with the name Green Brown. I thought that was bad, but it seems pretty tame compared to some of these.
Good for a chuckle from my point of view.
I sure hope those kids developed a thick skin really quickly!
Thanks for reading, Clessie Alta!! lol
Yep, Duchess, I think the Deep South trumps Canada for crazy names! lol
It would be interesting to ask people with these names how they feel about them.
I'm sure that would get some great responses, Sheila!
So hilarious!
Glad you enjoyed it, Idea!
Still laughing! Your a mess Habee!
Michael, you have to have a sense of humor to teach teenagers!
ROFL! Love, love, love this! I've been thinking about writing something similar especially since my Dad has been telling me about Coot's daughter and Screamer Odum's granddaughter. I hope these were nicknames.
If those are Southerners, Uneek, they might not be nicknames! lol
Those are great! My mom always likes to say you shouldn't name her grandkids weird names becayse they will get read by the teacher. I will have to email this to her!
Your mom's a smart lady!
I was gonna name one of my kids Billy Joe Don Bob. But I mighta gotten my butt kicked if I attempted that one ! :)
Gee, I really like that name! lol
I thought we had some strange names in my state of Texas; you mentioned some interesting names here. Thanks for sharing this article.
The Rope 2 years ago
I've been waiting on this one to get published - I knew you'd bring us something really fun! Thanks! I'm still laughing. It was well worth hearing about it last week and reading it now.